One of the realities of life is that inevitably we will lose someone we love. Many people will offer words of comfort, many will tell us that it gets easier, and it does, but it doesn’t mean that we ever forget, and neither should it. In remembering we are honouring someone whom we have cared for…, someone who has had a positive influence on our lives…
With love, very often comes pain, but I’m sure that nobody who has ever loved someone who has died would ever, given the choice, sacrifice that love just in order to avoid the pain, because love is so much more powerful than pain.
And in that love we find hope, the sort of hope that encourages us that life is worth living and worth enjoying regardless of the pain, it offers us the hope that persuades us to get up each day with some sort of purpose.
In grief we must find the strength to move forward, but that is so much easier said than done… Many people will eventually find that strength from the inspiration of the person who has died – knowing that the person would never have wanted their loved one to stop living. Others will find it through doing different things, getting involved in clubs or societies, but the most lasting hope, the only really lasting hope we can have is to trust our loved ones into the eternal care and protection of God who loves unceasingly.
In a reading from the Book of Revelation (21:1-7) we catch a glimpse of the vision of heaven – a place of no tears, no death, no mourning, crying or pain, and a place where God sits with his people. It’s a wonderful vision of peace and contentment, and yet it’s a vision that we often find very difficult to grasp.
In our world today, which is often very cynical and cold, it is so easy to lose sight of the wonder and power of God, who is moving amongst us even now. In his Son Jesus he has shown the depth of his love for us, and he wants us to respond to that love by living our lives with the joy and peace that he desires for us all.
In Paul’s 1st letter to the Thessalonians (4:13-end) he reminds people that God recognises grief, but he doesn’t want people to grieve with no hope – because Jesus lived and died and rose again, God calls people to life, eternal life.
In this letter Paul was writing to a young church in need of encouragement and some teaching as well – and at times of grief, at times of pain in our lives, we too often need encouragement and the promise that life can go on.
In times of challenge, Paul reminds this church, God is with us, and God has already won for us a victory that means, however hard it is to see at times, poverty will be transformed into riches, pain into glory and defeat into victory… We have hope because Jesus lived, died and rose again to bring that hope to reality…
The gospel we heard is also one of comfort and encouragement. John’s gospel (14:1-6) reminds us that in God’s house there are many dwelling places – places for people everywhere – Jesus has prepared that place and welcomes us – he is the way, the truth and the life…
The vision of heaven, the vision of the kingdom of God, is not just a vision for tomorrow, but a hope for today. One of the great privileges of my job, albeit an incredibly sad one at times, is to speak to people who know they are dying, and one thing that strikes me is that very often those people are filled with courage and with an incredible concern for others. They want the lives of those they care about to be full and joyful, they want those they care about to continue to love and be loved…,
Grief is a very real wound we feel, but in our grief we are reminded again of Jesus – wounded, but alive. More than that we are reminded of his resurrection and the fact that he had once and for all defeated the great enemy that is death.
There’s a beautiful word picture which says, ‘I have seen death too often to believe in death. It is not an ending but a withdrawal. As one who finished a long journey, stills the motor, turns off the lights, steps from his car and walks up the path, to the home that awaits him.’
Through Jesus we find our true home and through Jesus we find our peace.
I used to belong to a choir and for one concert we began practising a song called ‘All will be well’. Quite frankly after a number of practices it was clear that all was indeed not at all well. The piece was very difficult with a huge scope for mistakes, and I tend to make mistakes all too easily.
And when I was thinking about that song I realised that this is often the sort of situation that arises after the loss of someone we love. There are many people that offer the consoling words of ‘it’ll be ok in time’, ‘time will heal’, or even ‘maybe it’s for the best because they were suffering so much’. All of these things are a kind of equivalent of ‘All will be well’.
But sometimes it really doesn’t feel like that – those things may all be true, but we still miss the person we love but no longer see.
Today we’ve come together not to say that everything is ok, but to remember those who we still think about and care about, those who we still love.
Jesus understood grief, and he understood pain – he accepted the cruelty and torture of the Roman soldiers as he was prepared for execution – and he died in agony on the cross…
And if that was the end of the story then death would indeed be hopeless – death would be just an end, but Jesus offered more.
In the first letter of John we read (3:1), ‘How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God ! And that is what we are !’… We are children of God, brothers and sisters in one family, here to support one another, here to comfort and encourage one another, to laugh together, to cry together….
As we recall loved ones that we no longer see, we recall the good memories that we are left with, we cherish those we love and miss and we trust them to God’s love, a love that has no limits, and a love that never dies. AMEN
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